1. Accept yourself .
You cannot build a strong, independent life you if you can't live with yourself. Accept your body, your personality, your opinions, your choices, your preferences, and your life story. Do not say things against yourself. Put behind you your mistakes and learn from them. Make an effort to be a better you and most importantly love yourself.
- This is an important part of being independent because accepting who you are will keep you from trying to act like someone else.
2.Believe in yourself.
If you don't believe in yourself then who else will ? We are all different and have something unique to say. No one can speak the words on your lips and not everyone is going to agree with what you say which is why it's important for you to stand by who you are because at the end of the day you are all you got and if you believe in yourself that's really all that matters. Believing in yourself will make you trust your own decisions -- even if they completely go against someone else's -- or even society's -- expectations.
- If you don't have faith in yourself, you will always second guess yourself and turn to others for help every time you have to make a decision. Step away from that.
3.Accept the world.
Learn to accept the world, the good, the bad, your circumstances and decide to be strong.
Accepting the world and all of its complications will also help you see that there are an infinite number of ways to live out there -- nobody is forcing you to conform to one of them.
4.Be emotionally independent
Chances are, you depend on many people for emotional support. It may be your parents, a boy or girl friend, or good close friends. Although it is possible to continue to depend on these people for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to realize that everyone in your life that you depend on will one day no longer be around. Some will move away, some will stop talking to you, and they all will eventually die. The only person that will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be let down.
- It's okay to get attached to a few key people in your life, but you cannot let these people determine your level of happiness. That's up to you.
Other people do not have and will never have the same vested interest in your success. Motivation and success is a function of habit. You must break your bad habit of procrastination, and replace it with one of good planning. The most successful people in the world aren't always the brightest, or the best looking, but no matter what other talents or gifts they have been blessed with, they have, underpinning their self esteem, a series of victories over tasks both large and small. This is how you learn anything in school, gain confidence dating, and everything else in life.
- If you want to achieve a career goal, it should be to please yourself, not to please your family. If you want to get amazing grades, then the same thing is true.
- Don't be motivated to lose weight, publish a book, or build a house just to impress others. Do it because you want to drive yourself to succeed. Do it for yourself.
6.Be your own hero. A role model can help inspire you and show you how to live your life. It's not a bad thing to find someone you deeply admire who shares your values. However, at the end of the day, it's important to think of yourself as your own role model, as a person who is capable of doing and saying anything he or she wants. Aim to be yourself, and be the best you can be. If you can't look up to yourself, you can't be independent.
- Avoid idolizing any friends or acquaintances in your social circle. This will only make you even more likely to forget about doing your own thing.
7.Accept that life is not fair. The rules in the world usually protect either the majority (which you may not be a part of) or people with money and power. You will be treated badly for all sorts of unfair things: your skin color, your intelligence, your height, your weight, how much money you have, your opinions, your gender, and just about everything else that makes you who you are. You have to be happy in spite of that.
- Don't let the unfairness of the world keep you from doing what you want to do. Want to be a male nurse? A female in the military? The first person in your family to graduate from college? Go for it instead of convincing yourself that it's just not possible in the world you live in today.
8.Stop caring about what other people think.
This is the most important thing about being independent. If you depend on others to tell you if your music is cool, or if your outfit is cute, you won't be very happy! As long as you like it - nothing else matters! Stop worrying about other people's judgments about your life, whether they are thinking about your clothes, your choice of career, or your choice of significant other. These are your decisions, and not anyone else's.
- If you always have the nagging thought, "But what will other people think if..." in the back of your head, then you'll always be holding yourself back from doing your own thing.
9.Don't just think that you're the best; prove it to yourself!
Your opinion matters the most in your own motivation, but you know when you're pulling your own weight as to your accomplishments. It's far easier to just start dealing with your responsibilities knowing, with an incredibly strong faith in yourself that you can handle what comes up because you have done so before.
10.Get your own information.
Watch and read the news and make sure you get it from a variety of sources. Follow it as often as you can and always have a goal of getting both sides of every story before forming an opinion. You can talk to people of a variety of backgrounds to get more information on a relevant topic, too, but never let other people tell you what to think. Make a goal of reading as much as possible, whether you're reading literature or The New York Times. Being well-informed will keep you from being a follower and will lead to more independent thought.
11.Maintain solid friendships.
You don't have to throw away your friends to be independent. In fact, your independence is reinforced with good friends. When your friend needs someone to talk to, be there for them. Be trustworthy. Do not gossip or tell anyone about your friends' secrets or personal matters. Be a strong person for your friends and loved ones. It not only shows you're selfless, but pretty soon you'll learn how to deal with any situation that comes your way because of your friends' experiences.
12.Become financially independent.
It is tempting to depend on others financially, but before you experience independence, you must be independent. Secure your finances. True independent living relies on financial freedom. Pay your own bills, drive your own car, sign a personal check for your rent.
- If you don't have the money for these expenses, save aggressively. Not only will you gain financial freedom with your savings, but the money you keep to yourself will give you an incredible feeling of independence and motivation.
13.Don't settle for anything, for comfort, for ease, or to "be nice". Work hard at everything you do. Defend your opinions. And, for you girls, don't let a man feel he has to pamper you. If you're capable of doing something good, do it. That doesn't mean do absolutely everything, but you shouldn't feel it's necessary for people to do things for you that you could do for yourself.
- Work your best and hardest to leave people saying "That person doesn't rely on anyone to do things for them. What a strong, independent person."
14. Find your PASSION !
Something you are devoted to, whether it is a sport, music, art/dance, religion. Something that you do constantly that takes up some time.
15. Plan your day around you.
People who are most dependent on others allow their worlds to revolve around the needs of other people or other things. Plan your day according to your own schedule--make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do and what you should have already done.
16.Spend time with people with different worldviews.
Hanging out with people who are just like you won't inspire you to be any more independent. Making an effort to be friends with a variety of people who all have different perspectives and occupations can give you more of a sense of what's out there and to see that there's no one way to do it right.
17. Don't wait around for other people to determine your fate. You should be able to do whatever you want to do -- whenever you want.
18.Don't compare yourself to other women. While there is nothing wrong with having a female role model to look up to, constantly feeling jealous of other women will leave you feeling horrible about yourself.
19.Don't base your happiness on being in a relationship. Having a man (or woman) to love should enhance your life, not define it. No matter how bad you may think you need a relationship, you must first learn to love yourself before you can even begin to love somebody else.
20.Stay educated. Being educated not only gives you the skills and knowledge you will need to pursue your career, it also makes you more well-respected by the people you encounter in your life. Your level of education (whether formal or informal) reflects your intelligence and shows others that you care about things other than your own personal life.
21.Stand up for yourself. Whether you are a man or a woman, you will have to learn to fend for yourself in the real world if you want to avoid being taken advantage of. You must learn how to stand up for yourself at school, at work, and in your social life.
22.Take care of your body. Personal strength is manifested physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you want to be a strong, independent woman, you need look no further than your own body.
23.Give to others. One of the best ways you can exert your strength is to give back to those who are less fortunate than you. You don't have to be rich or affluent to make a positive impact in your community, so start small.